Thoughts to ponder before you marry and wonder ;o) ( Guys only :)

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
George Burns

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
Henny Youngman

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him
keep her.

I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.

My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got myself two
girlfriends.

A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it since
the thief was spending much less than his wife did.

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You
order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, You wish
you had ordered that.

Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.

A little boy asked his father, 'Daddy, how much does it cost to get
married?'

The father replied, 'I don't know son, I'm still paying.'!

Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in India a man doesn't know his wife until
he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.

Then there was a man who said, 'I never knew what real happiness was until
I got married; then it was too late.

A man placed an ad in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted.'
The next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same : 'You can have mine.'

A man, upon his engagement, went to his father and said,' Dad! I've found a
woman just like mother'
His father replied, 'So what do you want? sympathy?'

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking
they had no faults at all.

First guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'
Second guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.